Monday, November 29, 2004

Pee Yew!

I have nasty farts today. Be glad you can't smell them. If it were summer and there were flowers outside, they'd all be wilted within 10 miles.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

The Bride, The Groom...and Me

Before the wedding dance where I stomped on my aunt's foot, I first had a blunder at the wedding. Unfortunately, this one was worse.

The couple had not hired professional photographers or videographers, so I thought I would be kind and videotape the wedding for them. I wanted to plug in the camcorder to make sure the battery didn't die part-way through the ceremony. This limited my options of where I could place the camcorder. I had to be within a few feet of an outlet.

After trying out a couple different spots, and after getting no direction from the bride or groom, I decided on the outlet that was near the aisle, but behind all the seating. I would have to move the camcorder's tripod to the side at the beginning and end of the ceremony so the aisle would be open. Not a problem.

Wrong. I didn't realize that instead of the best man and groom waiting at the front of the church, they were going to walk in from the side, then escort the best woman and bride up the aisle.

I wish I had known that. There I was standing by the tripod ready to tape the ladies coming in the back when all of the sudden the men were entering from the side and coming not just towards their respective ladies, but also me.

So the best man walks in and meets the best woman. My camcorder tripod and I are totally in the way. Worse yet, the groom walks in and meets the bride. Again, yep, tripod and me still in the way.

So anyone taking pictures of the moment the groom met the bride to walk up the aisle towards the pastor, has a picture of the bride, the groom, and me. Oh, and my big ol' tripod. Smooth.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Wedding Dance Stomp

I was at a wedding last night. A live was band was playing for the dance and even though they sounded great and played good music, I was sitting in my chair watching the dance floor instead of dancing.

I don't usually get over that initial dance fear. The I'll-look-like-a-fool-so-I'll-just-watch fear keeps me in my chair. I did have a moment of bravery, though.

The fun beach song "Wipe Out" came on so I got up and grabbed my aunt and cousin and hit the floor doing the pony. I was feeling so dance-a-riffic I pushed myself through the circle of dancers that were on the floor instead of just sneaking around the side of them all.

Then I stomped on my aunt's foot. Nice.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Gray Hair

While at an eye doctor appointment earlier today, my mom and I were sitting in the waiting room and she was trying to show me her gray hair. I've been teasing her about gray hair for years, not because she has any, just to get her goat. She only has, maybe, four gray hairs on her head.

Well, until recently, that is. A couple of weeks ago I told he she was looking a little gray on top, but she shushed me, figuring I was harrassing her as usual. Her co-worker recently mentioned it to her, so now she believes me.

She was trying to get me to look, but I was having a hard time seeing anything. My eyes had been given dilation drops and I couldn't focus on anything.

As she was fussing that she really does have gray hair now, I was realizing that the typical patient of my eye doctor is about 75 and uses a cane or walker. Mom just kept going on and on about how she was going to dye her hair because "NO WAY" was she going to walk around gray. Meanwhile, we're sitting in a room full of gray-headed senior citizens.

Hopefully they didn't have their hearing aids in to hear what we were saying.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Having a Brain Freeze Day

This morning we headed to the gym. While all the good people of the world are at church, it's a good time for us heathens to have the gym to ourselves.

After our workouts we put on our coats and walk out the door to go. I head to the main parking lot, where hubby has unquestioningly followed me to, and then remember the car is parked on the opposite side of the building. Duh!

We could've turned around and walked through the building to the car, but we decided to just walk around the outside. We giggled at ourselves as we went, enjoying the walk and having fun being goofs as we pretended we were important people, police maybe?, securing the perimeter. (I know - dorky, why am I admitting this?)

We walk around and reach the car. In case it wasn't silly enough to forget where we parked the car, and silly enough to entertain ourselves on the walk by pretending to be security guards or something, I then realized another silly thing. I was carrying my mittens instead of wearing them. Duh! It's 32 degrees out - I could've been a little warmer on that little walk.

One of these days I'm gonna be a smart person who actually thinks about stuff before I do it.

P.S. I didn't even spell "mittens" right when I typed it. Spellcheck had to correct it for me. When will it end?!

Friday, November 19, 2004

Manicotti Madness

Last night I made stuffed manicotti for supper. Being of Norwegian descent, I fumbled and cursed my way though stuffing the suckers. They were totally defiant and would not help at all. It did turn out to be a fabulously delicious supper, but a bit annoying to try to make the cheese jump inside the pasta - and then stay there.

I can just imagine some little Sicilian grandmother in clunky black shoes and a black shawl having a look of horror on her face if she would've watched me. Especially the times I gave up and just ripped the pasta tube open and then slapped the cheese in and folded it back to be closed. "Mama mia!" she'd exclaim, then curse up to the sky, followed by making a cross on herself. (By the way, that worked just fine - no one could tell which were the usual stuffed manicotti and which were the cheater rip-open-fill-and-close-again manicotti.)

Monday, November 15, 2004

Take a Hike!

We bundled up and headed to the State Park yesterday. It's a bit of a drive to get out there, but it's so worth it. Being there relaxes me so much I have a hard time driving the speed limit. I'm often find myself driving way under the speed limit because I am so calm.

One of the first things we saw when we got in the park was a bunch of deer. We were driving to the parking lot and 8 deer crossed the road in front of us. That was our only wildlife sighting for the day, but it was a good one. Oh wait, I did see a squirrel.

One of my highlights was the little ponds that were frozen and had layers and layers of leaves frozen in them. Just gorgeous. I took a few pictures, but none of them do it justice.

My embarrassing moment was when we stopped for apples on a bench. Being a colder day, I had a bit of a runny nose. Wish I would've thought to grab some kleenexes. While I was sitting there on the bench my husband made me laugh. When I laughed I made my snot drip a big gooby down my face. Very becoming.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Not Looking My Best

Not long after I got home from the gym this morning, my neighbor and his two daughters came by as they canvassed the neighborhood selling for the Girl Scouts. They weren't selling cookies as you would think. Turns out they couldn't find a Cookie Coordinator for the region so they're not doing cookies this year. ?

Anyway, when I heard the doorbell, I had to stop and think for a second if I was going to go to the door or not. I decided I should go get the door, but I really didn't want to. As I stated earlier, I was recently home from the gym so I was all sweaty and stinky. Plus my hair was nasty greasy because I only showered yesterday and skipped washing my hair. Throw two bright red scabs on my lips from healing cold sores into the mix and it doesn't paint a very pretty picture. I wasn't feeling my cutest to say the least.

If only they'd come an hour later, once I had showered and put on make up. I only see these people as they drive by my house or as I drive by theirs. They're going to think I'm the icky lady on the street.